Walking down the dim hallway of Bethany Home, Lindsborg, Kansas, I heard crying coming from a new resident's room for the third night in a row. Gently knocking on her open door I asked, “What’s wrong? Can I get you something?”
The resident, in her nightgown, lifted her head from her hands and replied, “I’m just so lonely and I miss my son. Where is he? I’m so lonely.”
I had to take a moment to reply. I wasn’t sure how to tell her that we had already tried to call her son, but he wasn’t able to talk to her that night. My coworkers and I had tried every night to find distractions for her, like books or television. The transition into a nursing facility is hard for the resident’s and their families. Evenings were usually the hardest for people since there were less people and activity happening in the building.
“If you give me 15 minutes, I will come back and visit you. We can eat cheese and drink juice! How does that sound?”
She thought for a moment and replied, “I think I would like that. Please come back soon.”
For the next few weeks, whenever I worked on her hallway, we would have what we deemed “cocktail hour.” Sometimes she told me stories about her son and her life before the nursing home. Sometimes we ate in silence. I realized that she didn’t need a distraction, what her heart needed most — a connection.
Loneliness is not an uncommon feeling in the nursing home, especially on the evening and overnight shifts. My favorite moments from working there revolved around the times I was able to sit with a resident, sharing hot chocolate or some other treat, and listening to their stories or what was happening in their families. It was a blessing and an honor to get to hear their stories, whether it was about why they were having a bad day (even if it was fifty years ago) or how they discerned they should go to seminary.
I was not aware that by spending time with my residents like this, I was transitioning from my CNA work to my pastoral work. It wouldn’t be until I followed the call to seminary and started my clinical pastoral education that I would be able to put words to my experience in the nursing home. My hospital supervisor told us about “the ministry of presence.” Our job was to be present with those who are suffering and to let them express that without commentary or judgment. We were not there to offer physical support to patients, like I was doing at the nursing home. We were simply there to be with them as a comfort. This was the work that I believe God was and is calling me to do.
Presence is also our work in whatever transition we are going through. Presence to God, ourselves, and the people before. Presence to sit and listen to how the Spirit is at work. Presence to listen to the still small voice of God.
Prayer:
Dear Lord, we ask to feel your unwavering presence in our lives. Transform us to mirror that presence in our own relationships so that we may be truly present for others. May we feel your presence through the Holy Spirit to move us into new connections with us. All this we pray in your name. Amen.
Megan Mong is a candidate for Word and Sacrament ministry. She is in her third year of seminary at the Lutheran School of Theology at Chicago. At seminary she is active in the Master’s Student Association serving on the finance team, Thesis 96 which is a club for LGBTQIA+ seminarians and allies, prom committee, and outdoor movie club. This past summer she served on the Mass Gathering team for the ELCA Youth Gathering. Megan is a graduate of Wittenberg University and an alumni of the ELCA Young Adults in Global Mission program serving in Jerusalem/West Bank.
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