|
Usually
when people ask me why I want to be a pastor, my initial response
is, “ I have no idea.” Although I say this in jest
and provide a more detailed answer, there is great truth to
it. I’m still not entirely sure why God is calling me
to ordained ministry, nor am I entirely sure why I want to be
an ordained minister. If it were up to me, I would have been
an engineer. That’s what I planned to do most of my life;
it’s what I started studying when I went to college at
Valparaiso University. However, God had other ideas for me.
I grew up attending
Holy Cross Lutheran Church in Creve Coeur, Missouri, and served
in every role a kid could serve. Later in my high school years,
my family life become increasingly difficult and I found meaning
in that community. In the church, the people gathered there,
I found friends, support, and affirmation. I also began to see
how the Good News spoke to my own challenges in life. I began
to see myself as a child of God and really understand what that
means. So then I wanted to share this good news with others
who don’t have perfect lives (it took me even longer to
realize no one has a perfect life). Nonetheless, I still wanted
to be an engineer. Clearly my gifts had to do with math and
science, certainly not writing and public speaking.
As I entered college,
God’s small voice in my head began getting louder, but
also more and more persuasive. I became more involved in campus
religious life and took opportunities to learn about all forms
of ministry in the church. Finally, while listening to Walter
Wangerin, Jr. speak about his early ministry, I found myself
really excited by what he talked about and thought, “Hey,
this is what I want to for the rest of my life.” I want
to share this Good News. There was only one problem in my mind
. . . how? I am an introvert, I never liked English class, and
I loved building things. I wondered how I could possibly be
a competent pastor. Once again, God struck.
The theme for the
season of Epiphany at my internship congregation this year was
“We live beyond all expectations.” God has proved
over and over again how true that statement is for my life,
revealing old gifts and talents in new light and new ones that
I never knew that I had. God showed me that my quietness is
also a strong calming presence. I understand now how that my
analytical brain can wrap around large abstract concepts and
tie things together. Even my writing has improved as I learn
to combine the process-oriented part of my brain with the artistic
side that loves to create. I have been truly amazed by the way
my life has been transformed in the past seven years, and I’ve
also come to finally understand what it means to be redeemed.
God is in the business
of transformation. I firmly and adamantly believe that. God
takes what is old and makes it new, brings chaos into order,
and transforms death into life. My gifts and talents are not
the only things that have changed. My whole life has changed:
my thinking, my acting, and my living in relationship with others.
While I see this Good News in my life, my journey with others
in the church has revealed the same trends in others’
lives. The whole church and even the whole world are being transformed
by God. One of my favorite parts of ministry is being able to
say, “Aha, there is God working!”
I look forward completing
my Master of Divinity and being called to a church so that I
can journey with people fulltime for a long time. I continue
to be inspired by the prophets of our time who have so clearly
and eloquently pointed to God in this world and to the places
where God seems mysteriously absent. The part of ministry that
most draws me is dealing with the realities of life, the joys
and the sorrows, asking, “Where is God in this?”
I believe that the answer is in the church. I believe that we
as a people are called to serve one another, to be Christ to
one another. I’m not as concerned about growing the size
of church so much as I am interested in empowering God’s
disciples. I’ve been amazed how much people—yes,
even “ordinary” people—have truly changed
me. God has changed me through the prayers and financial support
of my home congregation, through the constant encouragement
and wisdom shared with me by my peers, and through the invitation
to simply be a part of the lives of members in my internship
congregation. Those are just a very few of the places where
God has been working in my life.
God has transformed
me. God is also calling me to be a part of the transformation
of others. I have no illusions about being perfect now that
I’m transformed. However, I do believe that God loves
every one of us and is using each of us (good and bad together)
to redeem people and all of God’s creation. Perhaps someday
God will lead me to an urban church to help transform struggling
communities, or perhaps God will lead this introvert to write
as much as I speak. I don’t know for sure right now. But
I do know that God is calling me—so I’m learning
how to listen.
Mike Kern
Trinity Seminary
Columbus, OH
06/01/07
“I
am the light of the world. Whoever follows Me will never walk
in darkness but will have the light of life.” John 8:12
|
